Two years ago today, the 7th May I had my sixth and final round of chemo.
Where did two years go?
How has it simultaneously gone so slow but so quickly?
Chemo is a wild journey. One no-one wants to do, but one you do to save your life. It's amazing what you will do, and how your priorities change when it comes to the crunch.
Looking back on the past two years I think of so many things;
I think of how grateful I am for chemo, for how it changed my life but also how still two years later I'm dealing with the fallout and side effects still and the realisation that some of these side effects will continue to be life long.
I think about how my daily life requires more thought, care, planning and organisation.
I think about how lucky I am to be so well, while many others in my 'cancer groups' are sick, running out of time and dying.
I think about all the things that once were so important to me, and are now so low down the priority list. Or the things that have been highlighted, magnified and their importance increased.
I think about how 'robbed' I feel from making the most of my life due to lockdowns, a pandemic, travel restrictions.
I think about how the universe moves in such mysterious ways and how what I want and what I need are two very different things.
I think about how much better my life is from travelling this journey. How much freedom I feel from cutting loose people, ideas and opinions.
I think about all the amazing humans who have been by my side and on my team for this whole thing.
I think about how much happier I am from being so grateful for everything and not taking things for granted.
I think about how 'tricky' I make things for people around me.
I think about how life doesn't need to be perfect, it just needs to be lived.
I hope for so much more time and have so many plans and goals I want to achieve. But today I stop, acknowledge and remember how far I've come and how far I still can go.
'There will always be more to do.
More growth. More healing. More errands. More cleaning.
More. More. More.
Take a moment today to simply be.
Wherever you are - just breathe.
Celebrate how far you have come.
How much you have already achieved.
Celebrate your strength. Your resilience.
Your compassion. Your grace. Your effort.
Stop thinking about all the things you still have to do without stopping every so often to think about all the things you've already done.
Celebrate it all.
Celebrate you'.
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